158 funny cat quotes - Page 4 - Wordgag

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

May 22, 2026

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

May 22, 2026

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

May 22, 2026

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

May 21, 2026

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

May 21, 2026

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

May 21, 2026

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

May 21, 2026

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

May 21, 2026

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

May 21, 2026

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

May 21, 2026

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

May 21, 2026

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

May 21, 2026

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

May 21, 2026

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

May 21, 2026

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

May 21, 2026

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

May 21, 2026

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

May 21, 2026May 21, 2026

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

May 21, 2026

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

May 21, 2026

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

May 20, 2026

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

May 20, 2026

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

May 20, 2026

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

May 20, 2026

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

May 20, 2026

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

May 20, 2026

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

May 20, 2026

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

May 20, 2026

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

May 20, 2026

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

May 19, 2026

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

May 19, 2026

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

May 19, 2026

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

May 19, 2026

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

May 19, 2026

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

May 19, 2026

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

May 19, 2026

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

May 19, 2026

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

May 19, 2026

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

May 19, 2026