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New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

195 Funny childhood quotes

Funny childhood quotes take us back to those carefree days filled with mischief, imagination, and endless laughter! 😄👶 Whether it’s the hilarious memories of playground drama, trying to avoid homework, or thinking you could actually get away with anything, these quotes remind us that childhood was a comedy show we didn’t even know we were starring in. Let’s laugh at the good ol’ days! 😂🎈🧸

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Strict parents raise good liars.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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