195 funny childhood quotes - Page 4 - Wordgag

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

May 23, 2026

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

May 23, 2026

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

May 23, 2026

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

May 23, 2026

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

May 23, 2026

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

May 23, 2026

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

May 23, 2026

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

May 23, 2026

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

May 23, 2026

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

May 22, 2026

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

May 22, 2026

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

May 22, 2026

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

May 22, 2026

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

May 22, 2026

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

May 22, 2026

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

May 22, 2026

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

May 22, 2026

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

May 22, 2026

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

May 22, 2026

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

May 22, 2026

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

May 22, 2026

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

May 22, 2026

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

May 22, 2026

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

May 22, 2026

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

May 22, 2026

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

May 22, 2026

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

May 22, 2026

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

May 22, 2026

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

May 21, 2026

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

May 21, 2026

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

May 21, 2026

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

May 21, 2026

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

May 21, 2026

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

May 21, 2026

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

May 21, 2026

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

May 21, 2026

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

May 21, 2026

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

May 21, 2026

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

May 21, 2026

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

May 21, 2026