Commentary:
"Looking to have the quickest Thanksgiving cleanup ever? Just casually mention politics and watch your guests bolt out the door faster than you can say 'pumpkin pie'! 🏃♂️🥧🦃 #ExitStrategy"
346 Funny conversation quotes
Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.
Commentary:
"Talking to myself is like having a meeting with the smartest person I know 🧠💬…even if they do tend to disagree with me a lot! 🤣 #BrainstormingSolo"
Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of selective hearing – more like selective talking! 🙉💬 Just remember, conversations are a two-way street, not a monologue marathon! 😄🚦"
Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.
Commentary:
"Who knew your arm art could be a louder introvert than you? 🤭 Maybe next time opt for a temporary tattoo to keep the chats at a whisper level. 😜💬 #QuietTattooRegrets"
Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.
Commentary:
Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God 🙏! I've been looking for an excuse to finally use my "alien invasion survival kit" 👽. Time to put those binge-watched sci-fi skills to good use! ✨🚀👾 #ReadyForTheExtraterrestrialLife.
How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?
Commentary:
🤔💍 "So, like, at some point in the future, we might just accidentally start planning a wedding together… NBD, right? 😄👰🤵 #CasualProposal"
My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.
Commentary:
"Having a heart-to-heart with her cat 🐱 proved once and for all that this human is purr-fectly sane! Who needs a therapist when you've got a feline confidant? 😸 #CaturdayWisdom"
Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.
Commentary:
"Ah, diplomacy at its finest – where a one-way ticket to the fiery pits is disguised as a grand adventure! 🌋✉️ Bon voyage, dear friend! 😉"
You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.
Commentary:
Oh, the dreaded "I wanna talk to you about something" moment… 🤨 At that point, you're just hoping it's a heated debate about economics and not a request to help them move furniture! 😂 #FriendshipGoals #EconomyTalks
Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.
Commentary:
"Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. I said '30 minutes' and realized that wasn't the right answer… unless they mean how long it takes me to pick one out! 🍷⏳😂"