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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has shared:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has copied:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has shared:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, β€œI wonder how old this tree is.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has viewed:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has copied:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has copied:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has downloaded:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Spotted on Messenger:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Just shared via YouTube:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Just shared via Instagram:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Spotted on Pinterest:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Going viral on Slack:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Reddit this month:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Is he trying to pronounce β€œcharcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,804

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has copied:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has shared:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has shared:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has downloaded:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has shared:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has shared:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Reddit:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Trending via WeChat:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Shared recently on Instagram:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Going bananas on Slack:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Freshly posted on Threads:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Just shared via TikTok:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Live now on Facebook:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

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