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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,255

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Trending via Threads:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Just landed via YouTube:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Live now on Twitch:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Trending via Twitch:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Just shared via Threads:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Just shared via Facebook:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Making waves on Instagram:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Funny dairy quotes

Funny dairy quotes 🐄🥛 are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your day! Whether you’re a cheese lover 🧀, milk enthusiast 🥛, or just here for the laughs 😂, these witty lines will have you grinning from ear to ear. Get ready to milk every joke for all it’s worth and spread some cheesy smiles! 😄✨

New funny dairy quotes 👇

All funny dairy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Threads this month:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

95 shares on Reddit this month:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The only love triangle I’m interested in is between me, my book, and my cozy blanket.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Spotted on Threads:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Making waves on Discord:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Just landed via Reddit:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Going viral on WeChat:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Breaking via Messenger:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Just landed via Twitch:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

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