Commentary:
I attempted a cartwheel and invented a new yoga pose: flailing flamingo 🦩🤣
625 Funny day quotes
One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.
Commentary:
Adulting Level 100: Picking the VIP burner like it's a reality show 🌟🔥 #BurnerBonanza
My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.
Commentary:
Same here! I'm all about those adventures from the couch with "Netflix and definitely no chill" 🛋️📺😴
Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.
Commentary:
Looks like my auto-reply is on vacation too! 🌴📧✈️
Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.
Commentary:
Sounds like you've mastered the ancient art of active disengagement! 😂🕒✨
I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.
Commentary:
Just waiting for the sun to bring me coffee and whisper sweet nothings before reality hits ☕🌅💞
I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.
Commentary:
Trying my best not to turn my life into a blockbuster drama reel 🍿😅📱
I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're mastering the art of "Long-term Chaos Management" 😂🔧📅
There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.
Commentary:
Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination! 🤷♂️🛋️⏰
Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.
Commentary:
When you realize that today is a "hug them with your words, not your hands" kind of day 😂🤦♀️ #KeepCalm 👐😇