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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has viewed:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has copied:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has shared:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, β€œAre you all right”?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has copied:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

1784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,946

Funny Quotes Topics

14,752

Funny Quotes Images

11,946

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Trending via WeChat:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s β€œnot how marriage works.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Reported on Messenger:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Going viral on Messenger:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Home Β» Funny Demand Quotes

Funny demand quotes

Funny demand quotes bring a hilarious twist to everyday requests and expectations πŸ˜‚πŸ’Ό Whether you’re negotiating for snacks, attention, or a day off, these witty lines add a sprinkle of humor to serious demands πŸ’¬βœ¨ Ready to laugh while making your point? Dive into the world where asking never sounded so entertaining! πŸ˜œπŸŽ‰

New funny demand quotes πŸ‘‡

For even more funny demand quotes, check out the next page, if available πŸ‘‡

All funny demand quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ“ˆ

Hot Funny Quotes πŸ”₯

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

1784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,946

Funny Quotes Topics

14,752

Funny Quotes Images

11,946

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has shared:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has copied:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has copied:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has copied:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has viewed:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has viewed:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has copied:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has bookmarked:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Snapchat:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Shared recently on Facebook:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Seen just now on Threads:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Spotted on X:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Just shared via X:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

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