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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Going bananas on Twitch:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Just landed via TikTok:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Making waves on Threads:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Trending via Instagram:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Spotted on Discord:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Breaking via Reddit:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Freshly posted on X:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

16 Funny devil quotes

More funny devil quotes 👇

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

2 weeks ago

bullshit, dating, devil, humor, life, love, me, reach, relationship, struggle, sure
You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

3 weeks ago

attention, details, devil, humor, irony, me, pay, thing, want
It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

3 weeks ago

church, clicking, devil, humor, ignored, irony, procrastination, relaxation, sitting, sleep, Sunday
Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

3 weeks ago

angel, children, devil, humor, irony, me, parenting, sarcasm, stranger
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

3 weeks ago

devil, eating, ever, food, good, humor, making, taste, temptation, trick, unhealthy, unhealthy eating, unhealthy food
“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

3 weeks ago

advocate, devil, devil’s, devil’s advocate, existence, heaven, humor, irony, joke, legal, legal term, prosecutor, term, wordplay

For even more funny devil quotes, hit next 👇

All funny devil quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Telegram this month:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Trending via Slack:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Just landed via Instagram:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Live now on Pinterest:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Just landed via Facebook:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Just shared via Threads:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Going viral on Instagram:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

16 Funny devil quotes

More funny devil quotes 👇

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

All funny devil quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨