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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Twitch:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Trending via Pinterest:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Breaking via Telegram:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Going viral on TikTok:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Breaking via Slack:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Just landed via Instagram:

My parents think they know me.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Going viral on WeChat:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Making waves on Threads:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Trending via WeChat:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Spotted on YouTube:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Just landed via Slack:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Spotted on Slack:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Trending via Threads:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

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