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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,488

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Live now on X:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Live now on Telegram:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Shared recently on Slack:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Shared recently on Telegram:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

76 Funny door quotes

More funny door quotes 👇

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

3 weeks ago

dinner, door, family, give, humor, i, independence, kids, McDonald’s, me, money, nostalgia, own, parenting, place, say, visits, wait
Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

3 weeks ago

asking, couple, domestic, domestic life, door, front, humor, life, marriage, night, people, person, relationship, security, sleep
My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

3 weeks ago

door, front, front door, home, home security, humor, joke, just, money, paycheck, security, system
I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

3 weeks ago

aging, block, door, holding, humor, i, isolation, old, people, shut, used
Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

3 weeks ago

awkward, awkward situation, confession, door, ever, funny moment, honesty, humor, i, me, moment, pretending, push, revolving, revolving door, situation
Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

3 weeks ago

answer, challenges, choices, door, give, humor, lemons, life, perspective, positivity
Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

3 weeks ago

believe, door, everything, humor, i, late, misunderstanding, pull, read, reading, sorry
The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

3 weeks ago

car, car door, crisis, door, energy, energy crisis, humor, marriage, power, relationship, sarcasm, wife
My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

3 weeks ago

bills, door, front, front door, humor, joke, just, protection, security, system, unpaid
Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

3 weeks ago

bed, door, night, rose, Titanic

For even more funny door quotes, hit next 👇

All funny door quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Slack this month:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

73 shares on Discord this month:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

76 shares on Slack this month:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

12 shares on X this month:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Spotted on Twitch:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Just landed via Instagram:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Activity Log ✨

76 Funny door quotes

More funny door quotes 👇

All funny door quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨