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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

12 minutes ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Going viral on YouTube:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Reported on WeChat:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Going viral on Telegram:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Making waves on Facebook:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Home » Funny Elf Quotes

Funny elf quotes

New funny elf quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Commentary:
Why stop at shoes, cookies, and toys? Let's put them in charge of everything—maybe we'll finally get free cookies with every shoe purchase and toys that assemble themselves! 🍪👠🎁
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Commentary:
Looks like someone really pushed the limits of holiday spirit! 🎅🧝‍♂️ Let's just hope Santa doesn't have CCTV footage of that incident. 📹😂 Remember, desperate times call for desperate measures! 🤭🎁
6 months ago
Share →: I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Commentary:
Looks like there's a bit of magic and mischief in the air! 🧝‍♂️✨ Who knew believing in trolls and elves could come with a side of skepticism? Maybe he just needs more convincing spells and proof from the enchanted forest! 🌿😄 #MagicAndSkepticism
6 months ago
Share →: Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Commentary:
"🎅🎄 Checking your elf is the ultimate holiday to-do list item! 📋 Don't let an elf oversight cause a shelf catastrophe – the stakes are high in Shelf Management this Christmas season! 🧝🧐 #ElfOnTheShelf #HolidayPrep"

For even more funny elf quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny elf quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

12 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Just shared via TikTok:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Making waves on Reddit:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Making waves on Discord:

The government even made aliens boring.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Spotted on X:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

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