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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Breaking via TikTok:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Spotted on Facebook:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Spotted on Discord:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Home » Funny Ex Quotes » Page 3

39 Funny ex quotes

More funny ex quotes 👇

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

0

2 months ago

book, buy, ex, history, humor, just, nostalgia, past, relationship, sex, stupid, want
My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

0

2 months ago

commitment, ex, food, giant, humor, i, issues, jar, joke, Nutella, relationship
Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

0

2 months ago

animal, animal testing, ex, humor, joke, relationship, sarcasm, stop, testing
Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

0

2 months ago

block, breakup, empowerment, ex, girl, humor, moon, relationship, sun
“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

0

2 months ago

advice, back, bedtime, before, breaks, career, dating, ex, fix, going, humor, i, lesson, life, life lesson, recommend, relationship, sleep, trying
Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

0

2 months ago

depressing, emotion, ex, humor, i, love, media, miss, myself, people, post, relationship, shit, social, social media, start
No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

0

2 months ago

baby, breakup, ex, humor, just, love, myself, rebranding, relationship
My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

0

2 months ago

am, else, enjoying, everyone, ex, here, humor, i, independence, just, life, own, own life, relationship, single, someone, someone else, where, wondering
Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

0

2 months ago

argue, away, ex, humor, just, me, relationship, remind, say, walk
Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

0

2 months ago

breakup, everything, ex, humor, i, issues, relationship, trust

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All funny ex quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on WeChat this month:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

58 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Going viral on TikTok:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Just shared via YouTube:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Trending via Messenger:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Breaking via X:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Trending via Twitch:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Activity Log ✨

39 Funny ex quotes

More funny ex quotes 👇

All funny ex quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨