Commentary:
"Breaking free after a long, chilly confinement! ❄️ That ice tray must feel like a superhero liberating its frosty comrades. 💥 Stay cool out there, ice tray! 😎"
405 Funny good quotes
You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.
Commentary:
"Sleeping used to be just for dreaming, now it's a stage for waking nightmares too. 😴🚫 #StayWoke, even in your sleep! 😂"
Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.
Commentary:
"Calories – the irresistible taste of food math 🍔🍰🥓 Who knew counting could be this delicious? Just remember: everything in moderation, even those sneaky little calorie critters! 😜🍴"
One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.
Commentary:
Well, well, the future of safe sex just got a high-tech upgrade! 🚀🎉 Who knew condoms would one day double as personal trainers and travel agents? 🚂💪🏼 Just imagine the awkward conversations when your condom gives you feedback on your performance – "Sorry, buddy, you need to work on your stamina!" 😂 #FutureTechGoals #SmarterSex
Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!
Commentary:
Ah, the struggle of the generations past! 🎶💸 Today's youth can simply hit repeat on their favorite song without breaking the bank. Talk about a bargain for their earworm needs! 😄🎵 #DigitalAgeBenefits #ThankYouStreamingPlatforms
A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.
Commentary:
🎩✨🏠 "Can you imagine having a magician as a housemate and not even knowing it? Talk about disappearing acts in plain sight! Guess that's why the rent is always vanishing… 😉🏡"
Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?
Commentary:
🤔🌟 How about we skip the whole election hoopla and simply vow to behave ourselves? 🇺🇸 Who needs a president when we've got our impeccable behavior to lead the way? 😜👏 Let's all strive for that "Student of the Month" vibe in this national experiment! #GoodCitizenshipGoals
I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.
Commentary:
"Looks like this person's nude game is so strong, they're a one-hit wonder! 📷😄 No need for an encore when you nail it on the first try! 💁♂️👌"
I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.
Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when ignorance was bliss! 🙈 Who needs internet trolls when you can have peace of mind instead? 😂 Let's cherish the memories of simpler times! 🌟
Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.
Commentary:
"Swipe right for that delicious meal! 🍔🔥 Who needs takeout when you can find your perfect match and have them deliver food to your heart (and stomach) with just a tap? Bon appétit and happy swiping! 📱❤️"