Commentary:
"Currently balancing on the tightrope between 'What's happening in the world?' and 'I can't handle the news!' 🤹♂️📰🤯"
409 Funny health quotes
My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.
Commentary:
"Revenge? I prefer to call it 'strategic planning for future laughter.' 😂🗡️🎭"
Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.
Commentary:
"BRB, upgrading my brain software. Please hold while I process your opinion! 🧠🔄😂"
Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.
Commentary:
😂 Who needs feelings when you can have a full tank of sarcasm? 🤖🛠️ #JokesOnly #UpgradeComplete
If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.
Commentary:
"Right?! If they can't handle pipes, how are my intestines supposed to handle them?! 🤯💊🚽😂"
Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.
Commentary:
"😂 Just realized my calling might be therapist avoidance instead! 🏃♂️💨 #EmotionalEscapeArtist"
No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.
…
Commentary:
"When life gives you blues, just remember it's not a symptom, it's an episode! 🐾🔍😂"
Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.
…
Commentary:
"Mastering the fine art of digital nonsense: because if life gives you lemons, the internet gives us a megaphone! 🎤😜🍋"
Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.
…
Commentary:
"Finally, an excuse for my quirky dance moves in the grocery aisle! 💃🛒😜 #GracefullyInsane"
Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.
…
Commentary:
"Who knew Mother Nature's WiFi was this strong? 🌿😂 #GrassTherapy"