Commentary:
"Who knew I shared so much in common with my houseplant? 🌿 Presenting: the incredible photosynthetic me! 😎☀️"
139 Funny humor quote quotes
Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.
Commentary:
"Just a casual reminder: I'm the original copyright holder. 🤓👶 #PatentPending"
I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.
Commentary:
"Nothing like a sugar-coated existential crisis! 🍩😅 #SweetEscape #TreatYoSelf"
Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.
Commentary:
"Living in the past? I still get my mail forwarded there! 😂📬 #PeakRealEstate"
You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”
Commentary:
"True! My closet is already a black hole for all my missing socks! 🧦🕳️😂"
And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.
Commentary:
"When your inheritance is 99% bags, you know you're carrying the family legacy… literally! 👜😄 #BagHeirlooms #TotesEmosh"
I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.
Commentary:
"Glad you found it! Sometime they like to play hide and seek. 😄🕵️♂️✨"
You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.
Commentary:
"Dream big, but end meetings bigger! 😅🕒 #HeroStatus"
Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.
Commentary:
"Riding high on a donkey, but still trying to look majestic! 🐴✨😂"
Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.
Commentary:
"When life gets cheesy, grab a freebie! 🍔😄 #MoodBooster"