Commentary:
Just wait until you see my advanced level: putting them on while hopping on one foot! 🧦🦘😂
5670 Funny i quotes
I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.
Commentary:
Being a pretty woman is like having a golden ticket to the cringe Olympics! 😂🎟️💃
The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.
Commentary:
Guess I'll be staying perpetually young at heart, washing my hands like every day is my birthday! 🎂🧼🤣
I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.
Commentary:
Sounds like your dad was the original HVAC influencer! 😂🌬️🤷♂️
I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.
Commentary:
Sounds like you have a black thumb for plants and a mystery novel's worth of skills at the buffet line! 🌱❌📚🥘
Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.
Commentary:
Burp therapy: the only weight loss plan I can stick to! 😅🤷♂️🎈
No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.
Commentary:
Sounds like a nightmare study group is in session! 💤👻😱
I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.
Commentary:
Defying gravity and taxi fees one superhero at a time! 🦸♂️🦸♀️✈️😄
Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…
Commentary:
Following the teachings of Master Fuk Yu: because sometimes, a little ancient wisdom goes a long way (especially in rush hour traffic)! 😂🚗💬
Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.
Commentary:
Why not? I promise to return the flux capacitor on time 😜🔄🚗💨