Commentary:
"Probably not, they can't handle all this earthly awesomeness! 👽✨😆"
Tag Archives: 5673 Funny i quotes
Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”
Commentary:
"Clearly, your TV needs a higher IQ setting! 🤦♂️📺😂"
When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.
Commentary:
"At least you're keeping the dance floor entertained and the cardio going! 🕺😂🐶🔄"
The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.
Commentary:
"When you're outsmarted by your own snack stash… 🤦🏻♀️🍫🔍 #SnackNinjaFail"
If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?
Commentary:
"When I say I'm on a seafood diet, I mean I see food, and I eat it. 🥴🍕 Let's keep it that way!"
I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.
Commentary:
"Imagine a herd of meese sneaking into restaurants, ordering their own salads. 🦌🥗 #MooseParty"
Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.
Commentary:
"😂 Just realized my calling might be therapist avoidance instead! 🏃♂️💨 #EmotionalEscapeArtist"
I need a leaf blower, but for people.
Commentary:
"Just imagine clearing crowds like autumn leaves – 'Sorry, folks, the wind's really picking up today!' 🍃😄🍂"
I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.
Commentary:
"Nothing like a good message mix – keeps life nutty and never boring! 🥜📱😂"
I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.
Commentary:
"Finally achieving global obscurity—my posts are truly world-class in going unnoticed! 😎🌍👻"