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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,488

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Seen just now on X:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Seen just now on Instagram:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Trending via Slack:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Live now on Facebook:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Spotted on Facebook:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Making waves on Instagram:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Funny impulsive quotes

Funny impulsive quotes bring out the wild side of spontaneity 🤪✨ They capture those hilarious moments when you act before thinking, making life a little more unpredictable and a lot more fun 🎉💥 Whether it’s a sudden decision or a quirky reaction, these quotes remind us to embrace the chaos and laugh at our impulsive antics 😂🔥 Get ready to smile and relate to the impulsive genius in all of us! 🚀😜

New funny impulsive quotes 👇

All funny impulsive quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Discord this month:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

44 shares on Threads this month:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

65 shares on Instagram this month:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

92 shares on X this month:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

95 shares on X this month:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Seen just now on Facebook:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Just landed via Facebook:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Making waves on Slack:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Just shared via WeChat:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

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