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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Making waves on Instagram:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Shared recently on Threads:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Just shared via WeChat:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Making waves on Pinterest:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Making waves on Facebook:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Breaking via Instagram:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Live now on Reddit:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

17 Funny inspiration quotes

More funny inspiration quotes 👇

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

2 months ago

am, bird, buddy, dreams, give, humor, i, inspiration, morning, motivation, nature, perseverance, saw, today, worm
Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

2 months ago

4-year, 4-year old, attitude, Batman, cape, childhood, confidence, fun, humor, inspiration, old, playfulness, today
You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

2 months ago

achievement, age, charles, dream, humor, inspiration, old, persistence, prince, Prince Charles, wait
Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

2 months ago

advice, birth, birth control, control, humor, i, inspiration, parenting, relationship
Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

2 months ago

hand, humor, inspiration, lemon, others, positivity, want, world
I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

2 months ago

asking, Batman, decision making, humor, i, inspiration, me, much, myself, new, self-reflection, superhero, think, time, too, trouble
Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

3 months ago

age, career, career change, change, drug, drug kingpin, high, high school teacher, humor, i, inspiration, kingpin, old, possibility, remember, school, teacher, think, too, walter, Walter White, white

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All funny inspiration quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

77 shares on Threads this month:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Shared recently on Discord:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Spotted on Reddit:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Going viral on Reddit:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Going bananas on Instagram:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Freshly posted on Discord:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Breaking via TikTok:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Activity Log ✨

17 Funny inspiration quotes

More funny inspiration quotes 👇

All funny inspiration quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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