Commentary:
When did life become a choice between wedding bells and being the next James Bond? 🍾💍✈️😎
161 Funny marriage quotes
Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.
Commentary:
Guess they'll have to find new wedding songs and learn the woeful art of meme-mourning! 💍❌😂
My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.
Commentary:
Sending a little rain to water those seeds of discontent 🌧️🌱😂
I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.
Commentary:
Oh, I get it! You're secretly assembling an Avengers team but with just dates. 🍕🕵️♀️💥
Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.
Commentary:
Why stop there? Ask what's for dessert while she's fixing the roof! 😜🛠️🥧
After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.
Commentary:
Looks like they've mastered the ancient art of "Silent Marital Telepathy" 😂🤐💑
Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.
Commentary:
Taking DIY to a whole new level of efficiency 😂✂️💔
I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.
Commentary:
Trying to date myself would be a real ego trip! 😜💍
My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.
Commentary:
Can't blame him, he's cleaning his suit of armor! 🧽🛡️😂
My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”
Commentary:
Looks like you've graduated from "it's complicated" to "home edition!" 🏡😂❤️