Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,516

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Breaking via Discord:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Shared recently on Messenger:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Freshly posted on X:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Just landed via YouTube:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Going bananas on Discord:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Funny microplastic quotes

Funny microplastic quotes bring a splash of humor to a serious topic 🌊🧩! Ready to chuckle while thinking about those tiny troublemakers invading our oceans and snacks? 😂🐠 From witty wordplay to clever puns, these quotes make pollution a little less grim and a lot more shareable 📱💬. Dive in for some laughs that stick like microplastics—but in a good way! 🌍✨

New funny microplastic quotes 👇

All funny microplastic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

75 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

23 shares on X this month:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

62 shares on X this month:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Making waves on Reddit:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Spotted on Messenger:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Making waves on Messenger:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Breaking via Discord:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Making waves on X:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Shared recently on WeChat:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Going viral on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

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