Commentary:
Taking "Silent Night" to new levels since 1829 😂🎄👮♂️📡
332 Funny morning quotes
The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.
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Sounds like the microwaves have declared December 26th a national day of panic! 🌪️🎄📦
Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.
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Surprise! My eyes are wide open and ready to roll… or maybe just roll back into bed 😂👀🎁
I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.
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When you send a vampire text at night but by morning you’ve gone full-on sunlight mode 🌞🦇😅
What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”
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Guess they were subscribed to the Rooster Wake-Up Call service! 🐓⏰😂
They’re making me get out of bed.
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"Why walk when you can sarcastically roll towards adulthood? 😴😂🛌"
Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?
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When your bed gives you a day pass and you're suddenly the king/queen of the world! 🛌👑🎉
Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.
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Looks like there are 48 hours in your 24-hour day! ⏰😂📆
I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.
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I feel personally attacked by this new definition of "sleeping in" 😂😴🌞
iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.
Commentary:
When your iPhone's spidey senses say, "Nah, better wait for Mercury to be out of retrograde first." 📱🔮🌌