Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Just shared via YouTube:

I probably think this song is about me.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Going viral on X:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Spotted on Telegram:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Just landed via WeChat:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Just landed via WeChat:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Just shared via Facebook:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Funny mythical quotes

Funny mythical quotes bring legendary creatures and ancient tales to life with a hilarious twist 🐉😂 From cheeky dragons to wisecracking wizards, these witty lines mix magic and laughter ✨🤣 Perfect for adding a spark of humor to your day or sharing with fellow fantasy fans 🧙‍♂️🔥 Get ready to giggle in a realm where myths meet mischief!

New funny mythical quotes 👇

All funny mythical quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Messenger this month:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

50 shares on Threads this month:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,277

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Going viral on Messenger:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Just shared via Reddit:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Spotted on WeChat:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Just landed via Twitch:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Going viral on Facebook:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴