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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

This Monday could have been an email.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Live now on WeChat:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Breaking via Reddit:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Reported on X:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Just shared via Discord:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Going viral on Snapchat:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Making waves on Telegram:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Seen just now on Threads:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Making waves on Messenger:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Live now on Threads:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

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