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New funny quotes: 7547 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: May 23, 2026

 

 

 

 

109 Funny nice quotes

Funny nice quotes poke fun at the awkward, overly polite, or “too nice for their own good” moments we all know too well! 😂😇 Whether it’s smiling through rage, saying “no worries” when you’re actually fuming, or being “nice” just to avoid conflict, these quotes remind us that being nice can be a full-time comedy act. Because sometimes, nice people are just *very* polite comedians! 😆🎭🤝

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Posted onMay 19, 2026

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Posted onMay 18, 2026

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

I think my type is a nice person.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

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