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When you've been looking through rose-colored glasses your whole life but suddenly realize they were actually fogged up lenses 😂😅 #LifeLessons #MomSkills 👀🍸
109 Funny nice quotes
Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.
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When my dog sees me in jeans instead of pajamas, he assumes I'm going to the Met Gala 🐶👖😆
If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.
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When we unleash our inner sarcastic dueling skills, it's the Olympics of wit! 🥇😏
My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.
Commentary:
Sending a little rain to water those seeds of discontent 🌧️🌱😂
Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?
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Sounds like your tweets got more personality than my laundry hamper! 😂🧦 #TweetTherapist
Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.
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So true! It's like dating a Transformer, but without the cool car upgrade 😂🚗💥
It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.
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As long as it doesn't come with a 90s soundtrack, I'm in! 🎶😅🙌
Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.
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New month, new me… and my bank account is as empty as my promises to not eat that extra slice of pizza 🍕💸😂
You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.
Commentary:
😂 "Next time my barista tells me to 'enjoy the next 24 hours,' I'm ordering my coffee with a side of panic! ☕😅🚨"
My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.
Commentary:
Guess I'm fluent in the language of thoughtful silence! 🤐😂