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New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

109 Funny nice quotes

Funny nice quotes poke fun at the awkward, overly polite, or “too nice for their own good” moments we all know too well! 😂😇 Whether it’s smiling through rage, saying “no worries” when you’re actually fuming, or being “nice” just to avoid conflict, these quotes remind us that being nice can be a full-time comedy act. Because sometimes, nice people are just *very* polite comedians! 😆🎭🤝

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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