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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has copied:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has shared:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has shared:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has bookmarked:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has shared:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on Reddit:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Seen just now on Instagram:

β€œI’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Making waves on Twitch:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Going bananas on X:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Just shared via Discord:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Just shared via Messenger:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Funny nude quotes

Funny nude quotes are the perfect blend of humor and cheekiness to brighten your day and tickle your funny bone πŸ˜‚πŸŒŸ Whether you’re looking for a playful icebreaker or just a lighthearted reminder to embrace your natural self, these witty lines will have you laughing out loud while celebrating the art of being unapologetically you! πŸ‘βœ¨ Get ready to strip away the seriousness and dive into some hilarious naked truths! πŸ˜„πŸŽ‰

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Threads this month:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

44 shares on X this month:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, β€œI’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

72 shares on Instagram this month:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

β€œWell, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, β€œno way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has copied:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has viewed:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has viewed:

All human behavior is performative, besides the crying of an infant.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

Going viral on Slack:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Breaking via WeChat:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ll be like β€œI’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Just landed via TikTok:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Trending via X:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Live now on Reddit:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Making waves on Reddit:

Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

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