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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Trending via Threads:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Just landed via Facebook:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Making waves on TikTok:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Just shared via Reddit:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Trending via YouTube:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Funny nude quotes

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Threads this month:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

16 shares on X this month:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

19 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,260

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Seen just now on Instagram:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Going viral on Threads:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Spotted on YouTube:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Making waves on Twitch:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Shared recently on Threads:

Tested positive for being single af

Trending via YouTube:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Live now on YouTube:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

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