Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,504

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Just shared via Threads:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Going viral on Reddit:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Spotted on YouTube:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Trending via Facebook:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Funny nude quotes

Funny nude quotes are the perfect blend of humor and cheekiness to brighten your day and tickle your funny bone 😂🌟 Whether you’re looking for a playful icebreaker or just a lighthearted reminder to embrace your natural self, these witty lines will have you laughing out loud while celebrating the art of being unapologetically you! 🍑✨ Get ready to strip away the seriousness and dive into some hilarious naked truths! 😄🎉

New funny nude quotes 👇

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

4 weeks ago

communication, dating, dumb, humor, i, intelligence, know, loud, me, nude, nudes, played, reading, send, video
Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

1 month ago

humor, husband, meeting, mess, nude, nudes, prank, relationship, send, send nude, text, texting, work
In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

1 month ago

case, cold, context, day, embarrassment, humor, me, nude, nudes, self-deprecation, should
You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

1 month ago

humor, Jersey, joke, know, mispronunciation, nude, play, play on words, pronounce, words
I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

1 month ago

ask, confidence, ever, give, good, humor, i, jokes, me, needs, nobody, nude, nudes, photography, relationships, second, self-esteem
You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

1 month ago

chance, flirt, humor, me, nude, nudes, person, send
Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

1 month ago

communication, dating, dumb, humor, i, intelligence, know, loud, me, modern, modern dating, nude, nudes, outdated, reading, send, video

All funny nude quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Discord this month:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

39 shares on Threads this month:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

77 shares on Discord this month:

I wish I had a friend like me.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Making waves on Threads:

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Shared recently on Messenger:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Just shared via WeChat:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Trending via Reddit:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Going viral on X:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

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