Commentary:
Mr. Rubik is quietly busy perfecting a spherical puzzle, while his cube steals all the limelight! 🤓🔲🤣
303 Funny only quotes
How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.
Commentary:
Guess I better start live-streaming my bathroom breaks to keep up! 🚽😂📱
That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.
Commentary:
Mind soup alert! Somebody's been overcooking their thoughts again! 🧐🤯🍲
No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're dating a human snooze button 😴💕👉⏰
I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.
Commentary:
Here's hoping the year trips on the way out! 🎉🥂😅
A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.
Commentary:
Sounds like my wallet is the true victim of identity theft! 🎰💸😅
The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.
Commentary:
Looks like we're all aboard the USS Speedy Steps to destination 'Next Floor'! 🚀🤣
All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.
Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.
Commentary:
🛸 "If you love me at my alien-replacement phase, then you've passed the ultimate relationship test! I guess that makes us 'out of this world' together! 👽❤️"
Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.
Commentary:
Someone's personality just stole the spotlight from the Christmas lights 🌟🎄😄