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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,561

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Just landed via Discord:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Spotted on TikTok:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Spotted on Threads:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Trending via Reddit:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Trending via Messenger:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Breaking via Discord:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Live now on Threads:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Trending via YouTube:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

19 Funny outdoors quotes

More funny outdoors quotes 👇

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

2 months ago

beauty, compliment, flowers, humor, looking, love, maybe, nature, outdoors, playful, positivity, too, trees
I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

2 months ago

humor, i, leisure, observation, outdoor, outdoors, outside, put, scenery, stuff, walk
I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

2 months ago

activity, competition, exercise, friends, humor, i, nature, nature walk, only, outdoors, outrun, people, walk, walks
Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

2 months ago

activity, climbing, describe, flat, hike, humor, just, mountain, outdoors, someone
I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

2 months ago

anxiety, go out, humans, humor, i, introvert, outdoors, social, social anxiety
Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

2 months ago

bad, bad situation, growing, growing up, humor, i, interaction, kids, misinformation, much, nostalgia, outdoors, outside, person, personal, personal interaction, situation, something, spread, today
Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

2 months ago

activity, actually, caught, caught fish, deal, fish, fishing, fishing trip, humor, i, outdoors, shit, trip, unexpected
I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

3 months ago

accidentally, accidents, gardening, hate, humor, i, leaf, neighbor, neighbors, outdoors, yard
What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

3 months ago

activity, advice, climbing, humor, mountain, nonsense, outdoors, people, risk, understand

For even more funny outdoors quotes, hit next 👇

All funny outdoors quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

52 shares on Discord this month:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

89 shares on Reddit this month:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Freshly posted on X:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Just shared via Facebook:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Going viral on Slack:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Going viral on Threads:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Making waves on YouTube:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Activity Log ✨

19 Funny outdoors quotes

More funny outdoors quotes 👇

All funny outdoors quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨