Commentary:
"Self-care? More like spell-care! ⚡️✨ Who needs face masks when you've got magic wands? 🔮💁♂️ Time to add some abracadabra to that morning routine! ✨💫 #PrioritiesShifted"
240 Funny personal quotes
The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone took 'traveling light' a bit too literally! 🚂💼😅 #ForgetfulTraveler #MinimalistGoals"
Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.
Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days of spreading rumors like the town crier of misinformation! 🗣️🤥 Kids today have it so simple with just a few clicks to spread rumors faster than wildfire. 🔥 Let's hope they also inherit the responsibility to fact-check before hitting that share button! 🕵️♂️ #ThrowbackThursday #TechyTimes
Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?
Commentary:
"🏋️♂️🩳 If shorts are the real motivation behind becoming a personal trainer, then sign me up! Who knew getting fit could just be an excuse to rock those comfy shorts all day long? 😂💪 #ShortsGoals"
Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.
Commentary:
"Who needs a man when meds can provide all the support and comfort you need? 💊🙌 Sorry fellas, looks like pills are the new love language! 😂 #MedicineOverMen"
A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.
Commentary:
"Who needs heartache and soul-searching when you've got a mountain of crispy fries to dig into? 🍟🤣 Love may be complicated, but fries are always there for you, unconditionally crunchy and delicious! #PotatoesOverPasstion"
Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.
Commentary:
"Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don't want to… I'll Do It Later 😅💤 #ProcrastinationChampion"
Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.
Commentary:
"Negative feedback? Sorry, only the mirror gets to roast me like that! 🤷♂️🪞"
Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.
Commentary:
"Embarking on a jog only to realize your body is staging a rebellion… Classic case of fitness amnesia! 🏃🤦♂️ #OutOfShapeStruggles"
My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.
Commentary:
"Looks like this year's Christmas letter is going for that 'behind the scenes' experience! 🎅🎥 Who needs Jingle Bells when you have colons to serenade you? 🎄💩 #TMIChristmasSpecial"