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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

29 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Spotted on Instagram:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Just landed via Messenger:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Making waves on Slack:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Going viral on Threads:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Making waves on Telegram:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Reported on Facebook:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Spotted on WeChat:

This Monday could have been an email.

Making waves on YouTube:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Home » Funny Pillow Quotes » Page 2

15 Funny pillow quotes

More funny pillow quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Commentary:
"Current mood: Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow. 🤪🛌💬 Who needs therapy when you have a fluffy pillow, right? 😅🤫 #PillowScreamingTherapy"
6 months ago
Share →: I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Commentary:
"I feel you, pillow! 🤦‍♂️ Do your pillow duties properly, will you? Don't let the pillow talk go to your head! 🛌😆 #PillowProblems"
6 months ago
Share →: The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Commentary:
Oh no, the cool side of the pillow strikes again! 😂 Looks like it's not just stealing all the warmth, but also stealing hearts now! 💔 Watch out for that sneaky pillow, it might become your new love rival! 😜 #CoolPillowWins #HeartThief
6 months ago
Share →: This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's on a mission to outsource their screaming duties to inanimate objects 😂🧸 Who needs therapy when you have a pillow with a built-in scream feature?! 🤪🗣️ #PillowTalk #ScreamQueen
6 months ago
Share →: I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's ready to drop the most epic nap mix of 2021! 🎶😴 DJ Pillow and MC Blanky are about to make some serious ZZZs happen on the dance floor… I mean, bed! 💤💃 #SleepyBeats"

For even more funny pillow quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny pillow quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

29 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Going viral on X:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Making waves on Instagram:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Making waves on YouTube:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Breaking via Twitch:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

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