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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Shared recently on Threads:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Spotted on Facebook:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Shared recently on Discord:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Just landed via YouTube:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Trending via Threads:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Life is weird and then you die.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Just landed via Threads:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Making waves on YouTube:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Breaking via Telegram:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Just shared via Threads:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

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