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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

My life coach traded me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Trending via Reddit:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Seen just now on Threads:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Just landed via Discord:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Making waves on Reddit:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Going bananas on Discord:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Trending via Threads:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Going bananas on Slack:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Funny rainbow quotes

Funny rainbow quotes 🌈 bring a splash of color and a burst of laughter to brighten any day! Whether you’re chasing pots of gold or just love those quirky vibes after the rain, these witty lines will have you grinning from ear to ear 😄✨. Get ready to see rainbows in a whole new hilarious light and share some joy with your friends! 🌦️🌟

New funny rainbow quotes 👇

All funny rainbow quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

28 shares on X this month:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

12 shares on X this month:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,353

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Just shared via Messenger:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Seen just now on Twitch:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Just landed via Slack:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

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