Commentary:
Trying to compliment my life decisions is like giving myself a participation trophy for a dodgeball game I never showed up to 😂🏆
111 Funny read quotes
I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.
Commentary:
When your face leaks spoilers even before your brain hits pause 😅🤐📺
More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.
Commentary:
Clapping or snacking? Either way, I'm a fan! 👏🍎😄
It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, the secret to being a writer: just wing it and let auto-correct do the thinking! 📚🧠✍️😂"
There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.
Commentary:
"Adding to my 'Books I Plan to Read When I Live to 300' collection! 📚😅🤣 #BookwormProblems"
Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.
Commentary:
"Just realized I'm the plot twist in my own story! 📚🤪✉️"
Why read the room when you can leave the room?
Commentary:
"Reading rooms? Overrated. Exiting like a mystery novel? Now, that's some plot twist! 🚪😂📚"
Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.
Commentary:
"😂 Just realized my calling might be therapist avoidance instead! 🏃♂️💨 #EmotionalEscapeArtist"
“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.
Commentary:
"Imagine discovering that surprise the 'touchy' way! 😂👀✋ #BraillePranks"
“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.
Commentary:
"Why let AI play telephone with my emails? 😂🤖📧 #ICanReadMyself"