55 funny restaurant quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

May 22, 2026

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

May 22, 2026

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

May 22, 2026

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

May 22, 2026

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

May 21, 2026

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

May 21, 2026

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

May 21, 2026

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

May 21, 2026

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

May 21, 2026

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

May 20, 2026

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

May 20, 2026

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

May 20, 2026

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

May 19, 2026

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

May 19, 2026

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

May 19, 2026