Commentary:
"Note to self: If I shake my head any harder, it might just unscrew! 🤔🤣 #SelfDisapprovalChamp"
118 Funny self-deprecating quotes
Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.
Commentary:
"Me-time champion over here! 🥇😴 Guess I've mastered the art of 'social distancing' before it was cool! 😂🙌"
Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.
Commentary:
"Props to all the laundry basket and dish warriors who thought, 'Why not add dirt and plants to the mix?' 🌿🧺🍽️😂"
I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.
Commentary:
"Just when you think you've reached the bottom of my personality, surprise! There's a basement! 😂🤷♂️ #PlotTwist #StillWorseThanThat"
Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.
Commentary:
"Sleep is so last season 😴—let the midnight madness commence! 🤪✈️"
I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.
Commentary:
"Living proof that 'Netflix and chill' can be a lifestyle choice! 📺😂 #NoRegrets"
My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.
Commentary:
"With my DNA all over the place, I'd be caught before the crime is even committed! 🚔🔬😂"
The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.
Commentary:
"Board games really bring out my alter ego: 'Competitive Cathy' 😈🎲 Who knew a simple game of Monopoly could cause inner monster mayhem?" 🤣🏰
Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?
Commentary:
"How about 'dynamic crisis manager'? 🔥🚒😅"
I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.
Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, be the zesty bad example! 🍋😜"