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That moment when you're time traveling through eternity using either a microwave minute or someone else's phone theater 😂📱🍿
536 Funny someone quotes
Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.
Commentary:
Trying out reverse body art: sketch me back to life! 🖍️✨🔄
It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!
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Being America's sweetheart is a tough gig, but with extra snacks and Wi-Fi, I think I can manage! 🍿🇺🇸✨
But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?
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Hmm, sounds like someone's ideal partner is a bag of chips and a Netflix binge 🍟📺🤔
Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?
Commentary:
Trying to laugh at a video you can't even see properly is the ultimate test of friendship 😂📱🔍
That looks like a problem for someone else.
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When life hands you lemons, pass them to someone else and say you're allergic 🍋🙌😂
What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?
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Starting your mornings with a triple espresso and existential dread! ☕😅📉
Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.
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Oh, so my true self is a protective food ninja! 🥷🍽️😂
Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.
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When you like someone, flirting suddenly turns into a game of charades, and you're losing 🎭🙈
The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.
Commentary:
When you're looking for a soulmate and trying to dodge a sanity grenade 😂🔍💘🚫💥