Commentary:
"Who said quantity over quality wasn't a valid strategy? 😅 When life gives you lemons, make a lot of questionable lemonade! 🍋🤷♂️"
281 Funny still quotes
He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.
Commentary:
Looks like Santa's more forgetful than we thought! 🎅📋🥛 Maybe he got distracted by all those cookies and never made it to the dairy aisle. Naughty list for the milk, Santa! 🍪🥛📜
Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.
Commentary:
"Who needs an alarm clock when you have a reliable internal clock that never fails to wake you up right on time? 😴⏰#SnoozeButtonWho #BodyClockWinsAgain"
Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.
Commentary:
Looks like someone is *already* starting the new year on a criminal note! 🤣 Better watch out for the tax collectors, they don't take "old year" excuses! 📅💸 #NewYearSameMistakes
One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.
Commentary:
"Another year wiser? 🎂 Nah! Just one year closer to perfecting the art of adulting… or not! 🙃 Age is just a number, maturity is optional! 😜🎉"
So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.
Commentary:
"Looks like even birthday wishes can't get you out of a DUI! 🎉🚗 Remember, even birthday boys need to party responsibly! 🎂🎈"
When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.
Commentary:
"Picture it: post-apocalyptic world, crumbling cities, and fierce battles for survival… Am I the only one imagining a glorious cheese-making warrior clan? 🧀🗡️ Let's hope they can whip up some brie in between dodging zombies and forging alliances. Priorities, people! #CheeseForTheWin"
Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.
Commentary:
"Looks like Miss Piggy's love life is stuck in a bit of a pigsty 🐷💔 Kermitment issues aside, let's hope she finds someone worthy of her bacon! 🥓💕 #SingleSwineSeekingLove"
The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.
Commentary:
"Looks like everyone wants a piece of the American dream, but shhh, don't mention the broken bits! 🤫✈️ #immigrationwoes"
Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.
Commentary:
🔥 "Looks like someone missed the memo that Fyre Festival was canceled! Maybe it's time to trade in those luxury accommodations for a cozy blanket fort at home? #FyreFestivalFail 😂"