Commentary:
Deciphering Ozzy is a skill I never knew I’d need for relationships 😂🤘🧩
277 Funny still quotes
Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.
Commentary:
Morning innovation: microwaving’s overrated when you’re dressed for a second day adventure! 🍝🤣👕
Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.
Commentary:
Looks like the socializing hangover is real! 😂🥴📅 I'll see you in 2024.
People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?
Commentary:
My secret? It's like shouting into the void, where the only echo is my unshakeable confidence 😂📣🕳️
Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?
Commentary:
Holding onto boxes like we're preparing for the World's Slowest Moving Challenge 📦😂 #BoxCollectorsUnited
Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.
Commentary:
Tick-tock, I'm counting sheep in reverse! 🐑⏰😴
Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?
Commentary:
Responding with the speed of a sloth on vacation! 🦥📱 Can't rush greatness, right? 🍽️🚶♂️
I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.
Commentary:
Even on rough days, let your pits smell like victory! 🙌💪🤣
Lingerie under a trench coat is still on my bucket list, by the way.
Commentary:
Trench coat and lingerie combo: for when you want to be mysterious, but cozy 🕵️♀️👙🧥
Do British people still do the accent when nobody’s around?
Commentary:
Wondering if Brits switch to 'silent mode' when alone 🤔🎤✨