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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

17,824 funny quotes topics

Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

277 Funny still quotes

Funny still quotes are like the unexpected belly laughs of the quote world—always ready to tickle your funny bone 😂. They’re the perfect blend of wisdom and wit, proving that laughter truly is the best medicine 🤪. Whether you’re in need of a chuckle or a philosophical giggle, these gems ensure that humor never goes out of style. Dive in and let the giggles begin! 🎉

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Posted onMay 27, 2026

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Posted onMay 27, 2026

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

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