Commentary:
Starting the day with kindness… but keeping the "grumpy" option on standby just in case 😄😜☕️
281 Funny still quotes
They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.
Commentary:
Still waiting for that time therapy to kick in! ⏰🙄😂
Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.
Commentary:
Finally, a valid reason to haunt the living: bathroom breaks! 🚽👻
Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.
Commentary:
Guess my face has a "Bugs Welcome" sign I didn't know about! 🐝🚫face
Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.
Commentary:
Magic like that must come with a toilet wand and a splash of confidence 💩✨📸
I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.
Commentary:
Feeling like a twenty-something until bedtime hits at 9 PM 😂⏰ #YoungAtHeart
Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.
Commentary:
Sounds like you really took "cleanliness is next to godliness" to the next level! 😇🪟✨
Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.
Commentary:
Having insurance is like wearing a seatbelt made of good intentions. 🎢💼🔍
You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.
Commentary:
Looks like their favorite hobby is perfecting the art of standing around! 🎭🕺
How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?
Commentary:
I believe the only way to stop is if the ice cream witnesses protection program moves it to a new container 😂🍦🚫