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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Jan 2, 2026

3,229

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Making waves on Pinterest:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Making waves on TikTok:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Trending via X:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Seen just now on Instagram:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Just landed via Slack:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Funny upgrade quotes

Funny upgrade quotes 🚀 are the perfect way to laugh through life’s little improvements and tech tweaks 🤖✨. Whether you’re boosting your gadgets, leveling up skills, or just embracing change with a smile 😄, these witty lines add a spark of humor to every step forward. Ready to upgrade your mood and chuckle along the way? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on getting better, one laugh at a time! 😂🔧

New funny upgrade quotes 👇

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

0

2 months ago

comfort, fat, flat, fluff, fluffy, humor, hurt, hurts, i, neck, new, old, pain, pillow, upgrade
I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

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2 months ago

age, humor, life, phone, technology, upgrade, where, working
To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

0

2 months ago

air, air conditioner, conditioner, context, fans, humor, only, people, remark, upgrade, witty, witty remark
If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

0

2 months ago

airline, captain, class, first class, flight, humor, joke, travel, upgrade
Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

0

2 months ago

buying, comparison, even, haircut, humor, just, new, old, phone, satisfaction, technology, upgrade
I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

0

2 months ago

being, cleaning, feel, glasses, humor, i, joy, know, never, package, perspective, sorry, UHD, upgrade, vision

All funny upgrade quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,436

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Seen just now on Facebook:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Breaking via Facebook:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Making waves on Discord:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Trending via Pinterest:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

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