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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Trending via Reddit:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Making waves on Discord:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Heavy lifting Olympics: 0, Grocery Hulk: 1! 🏋️‍♂️🛒🤣"

basket, carry, carrying, convenience, grocery, grocery store, humorous, i, middle, moments, much, overestimate, shopping, should, store, stores

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

0

2 months ago

bio, good, humor, intelligent, irony, media, people, put, self-promotion, social, social media, Twitter
My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

0

2 months ago

exhaustion, feeling, hobby, humor, rest, sleeping
I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

0

2 months ago

chores, feel, fine, frustration, honesty, household, humor, i, just, know, left, let, lie, machine, me, much, need, never, time, understand, washing, washing machine
I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

0

2 months ago

conversation, good, humor, interesting, listener, personality, social, wit
Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

0

2 months ago

birth, control, Crocs, fashion, fashion joke, footwear, free, humor, humor joke, joke, male, male birth control, socks
If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

0

2 months ago

alone, entertainment, humor, questions, relationship, show, TV, TV Show, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Slack this month:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

74 shares on Threads this month:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

80 shares on Discord this month:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Spotted on Reddit:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨