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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,235

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Going viral on Telegram:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Making waves on Messenger:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Spotted on Messenger:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Just landed via Threads:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Live now on Slack:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Making waves on Telegram:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Talking to me is like going on a road trip – sure, we might take a few detours, but hey, at least there's a view! 🚗🌄😄"

chatting, communication, conversation, having, humor, journey, kind, me, route, scenic, scenic route, taking, talk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

0

2 months ago

Americans, breakfast, candidates, cereal, choice, choose, humor, only, over, politics, presidential
Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

0

4 months ago

experience, humor, laptop, outdoors, outside, working
Having children is a pyramid scheme.

0

2 months ago

children, choice, family, humor, joke, life, life choice, parenting, pyramid, pyramid scheme, responsibility, scheme
The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

0

2 months ago

child, clothing, cold, fashion, humor, item, parenting, parents, sweater, wear
The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

0

2 months ago

90s, bliss, culture, groupie, ignorance, lifestyle, music, nostalgia, rock, rock star, sleep, star, stars, time, where
Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, humor, i, introvert, know, meeting, much, new, people, relationships, social, social anxiety, un-meet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

29 shares on X this month:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

83 shares on Threads this month:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Making waves on Instagram:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Live now on Reddit:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Trending via Facebook:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Making waves on WeChat:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Just landed via Discord:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Shared recently on Threads:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Going bananas on X:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨