Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Ah, her heart is like a haunted floral shop, where ghosts tend to arrangements of wilted blooms, each petal whispering tales of lost love 👻🥀🌿💔🌹.

abandoned, dying, filled, flower, flowers, garden, ghost, ghosts, heart, humor, melancholy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, fitness, focus, going, hobby, humor, i, lottery, money, museum, need, win, working, workout
Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

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2 months ago

activity, alcohol, blue, casual, day, drink, drinking, excessive, got, humor, humor quote, i, me, recreational, red, roses, social, social activity, thinking, time
Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

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4 months ago

divorce, divorce lawyer, humor, lawyer, relationship, saving, single, staying
Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

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2 months ago

dad, excitement, exciting, golf, humor, irony, Masters, napping, sports
Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

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2 months ago

abandonment, due, health, humor, irony, issues, mental, mental health, self-awareness, yes
I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

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2 months ago

door, encounter, funny encounter, high, high school, i, memory, nostalgia, old, old person, person, school, surprise, today, together

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

64 shares on Threads this month:

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Making waves on WeChat:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Going bananas on Slack:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Making waves on Facebook:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨