Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.
  • All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.
  • After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.
  • You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.
  • The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.
  • My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.