Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Shared recently on Slack:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Going viral on Instagram:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Making waves on Twitch:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Live now on Discord:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Just shared via WeChat:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Spotted on TikTok:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Making waves on WeChat:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

4 weeks ago

Funny quote about drunk texting, highlighting how love persists even when tipsy.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Receiving a drunk text is like being chosen as the VIP in someone's intoxicated adventure 🍻📱💬 #PrioritiesInCheck"

appreciate, appreciation, connection, drunk, drunk text, face, friendship, funny message, humor, message, off their face, someone, still, text, thinking

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Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Threads this month:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

84 shares on Threads this month:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

62 shares on Discord this month:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Just shared via Messenger:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Making waves on Twitch:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Trending via Threads:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Just shared via X:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Keep the laugh going 😂

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨