Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Just shared via YouTube:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Spotted on X:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Just landed via Instagram:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Just landed via Reddit:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Receiving a drunk text is like being chosen as the VIP in someone's intoxicated adventure 🍻📱💬 #PrioritiesInCheck"

appreciate, appreciation, connection, drunk, drunk text, face, friendship, funny message, humor, message, off their face, someone, still, text, thinking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

0

2 months ago

actually, ancient, ancient art, ancient Greece, art, greece, greek, Greek sculpture, humor, Medusa, myth, mythology, sculpture
For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

0

2 months ago

always, beauty, Dracula, eyeliner, fashion, goth, guy, humor, joke, makeup, reflection, vampire
I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, brain, Instagram, social media, zombie
Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

0

1 month ago

animal, awkward, awkward situation, elephant, funny observation, humor, joke, metaphor, natural, observation, room, situation
After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

0

2 months ago

after, coming, everyone, friend, friends, funeral, humor, i, phone, take, text, thanks, want
It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

0

5 months ago

48, doing, doing nothing, exhausted, exhaustion, going, hours, humor, laziness, naturally, nothing, relaxation, spend, still, tiredness, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

31 shares on X this month:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

48 shares on Slack this month:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Just shared via TikTok:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Going viral on Slack:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Just shared via Snapchat:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Trending via Threads:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Making waves on YouTube:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨