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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,948

Funny Quotes Topics

14,755

Funny Quotes Images

11,948

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Spotted on TikTok:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Just landed via Discord:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Just shared via Threads:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Breaking via Facebook:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Reported on Twitch:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Seen just now on Threads:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Setting two alarms is a great plan, unless 'The Real Me' decides to hit snooze on both! 🕰️😴 Good intentions vs. reality – the eternal battle of the morning routine! ⏰😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,948

Funny Quotes Topics

14,755

Funny Quotes Images

11,948

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Shared recently on X:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Spotted on Instagram:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Just shared via Telegram:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Seen just now on Reddit:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Just shared via WeChat:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Spotted on Messenger:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Spotted on Messenger:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

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