I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

The void screams into me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.