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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Making waves on YouTube:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Breaking via Telegram:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Just landed via Threads:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Just shared via YouTube:

Tested positive for being single af

Freshly posted on Slack:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Just shared via Pinterest:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'opposite psychology' approach. Bold move, Cotton! Let's see if it pays off for him. 🤨🤔😆 #SmoothOperator"

aggressive, awkwardness, communication, creepy, humor, i, nothing, please, relationship, respond

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

0

2 months ago

advice, conversation, expert, humor, i, myself, need, self-talk, talk
I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

0

2 months ago

aging, aging process, am, avoiding, avoiding sunlight, being, costs, dark, dark humor, fine, humor, i, place, process, sarcasm, saying, self-deprecating, storage, sunlight, wine
Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

0

2 months ago

activity, annoyance, beach, couples, even, fun, fun activity, growl, humor, i, pass, playful, sarcastic, solitude, stare, staring, walk
Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

0

3 weeks ago

boredom, boring, dating, dude, ghosting, humor, left, media, personality, social, social media, swipe, swipe left
Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

0

1 week ago

dating, hell, humor, i, know, relationship, spot, take, woman, women
I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

0

2 months ago

ancestry, bad, current, enough, family, fascination, humor, i, knowing, never, understand, understanding

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Messenger this month:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

86 shares on Discord this month:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Spotted on Threads:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Going viral on Slack:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Spotted on Messenger:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Making waves on Twitch:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨