Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Just landed via Slack:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Just shared via WeChat:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Just landed via Reddit:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote about secretive meatloaf recipe kept in a locked briefcase.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally, a family secret worth guarding like Fort Knox! 🥩🗝️☢️

absurdity, comedy, family, grandmother, humor, i, joke, meatloaf, metal, playful, quirky, recipe, wrist

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

11 shares on Slack this month:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Just landed via TikTok:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Making waves on Twitch:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Shared recently on Slack:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Making waves on Discord:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Trending via Messenger:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Spotted on Telegram:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨